thecarrotlives
Completely Undateable
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The D is silent

phleps:

yes that is what i meant

pruderanch:

200% sure that all of my friend have secret meetings where they just talk about how annoying I am

(Source: religiousmom)

britishprostitute:

britishprostitute:

i love riding d*cks

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pregers:

waking up and realizing you slept through your alarm

lumpyspacelion:

what the actual fuck

fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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batlock:

So.

Cards Against Humanity.

I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.

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It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.

If you have it, open your box.

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You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?

Do that.

Do it carefully.

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Holy shit.

There’s something in there. What could that be?

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There’s a card.

There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.

But what card?

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I fucking love these people.

gurihiru:

Rocket Raccoon
sluttymistletoe:

cringing:

is no one going to talk about how miranda has been replaced with a random middle aged woman

if you knew anything about lizzie mcguire you would know that miranda is livin it up in Mexico City while Lizzie has an awesome adventure with Paolo and Isabella, while trying to avoid the evil wrath of Ms Ungermeyer, who is definitely not some “random middle aged woman”
thanks

dyselxia:

when you flawlessly execute an insult

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